Questions that truly reveal someone's personality and capabilities.
People are like onions.
We show our best selves on the skin, hoping to get people to like us. To accept us.
We put on makeup. We dress up semi-formally. We hand out our business cards with a beaming grin. We polish our car(s). It’s these kind of “desirable” qualities that we feel completely secure about opening up to others.
But when it comes to the things that truly make us who we are, like our dreams, beliefs, feelings, emotions, thoughts, wishes and fears, we close ourselves up like a clam.
It’s not like we’d planned to be a reticent person. In fact, we’d like to trust someone to share our deepest secrets and hear out our problems.
But after years of getting hurt and taken advantage of from being too open, we’ve naturally built a wall to prevent most people from getting too close to us.
So how can we ‘innocently’ break people out of this protective shell and get them to open up to us? So we can understand their true personality and capabilities?
Ask them personal, thought-provoking questions.